On International Women’s Day I scrolled through social media and was greeted with inspiring quotes, gratitude and special thanks to all those wonderful women out there.
It has got me thinking about my own experiences of women, our behaviours and the importance of finding your cheerleaders. I am very fortunate to say I am now surrounded by the most fantastic and inspiring women I could hope for. They push me to be the best version of myself every day. They are my shoulder to cry on, my reality check, my confidence boost and always have my back. But it hasn’t always been that way. It wasn’t until I realised how much better life, and I can be, when you actually share it with people who truly want you succeed. So I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I removed the negative relationships from my life, and went out into the big wide world to meet new people!
I have always been a girl’s girl, throughout school I formed part of a friendship group filled with girls. We talked boys, shopping, make up. Everything you would expect teenage girls to spend their time thinking about! I loved it, I felt part of something and quite simply I liked being liked. But it wasn’t all laughs and giggles. There was also gossiping, bitching, putting each other down and sometimes just being down right mean to each other. Whether it was a disagreement about a boy, or stealing a look; girls can be very quick to turn on each other! You’ve all seen mean girls, right?! Well, there are some real life Regina George’s out there.
As you grow up, you grow out of some of these behaviours. You blame it on being a teenager and god what a pain you were! But, now as an adult I still witness women pulling others down. Whether it is through jealousy, fear of being upstaged or so that person won’t leave them for greater things, who knows! But the snide comments (you know the ones – hell they’ve probably been said about all of us), ‘Did you see what she was wearing?’ or ‘Who does she think she is?’ have no place in our society.
Women should be lifting each other up. Bring truly happy for each other’s wins and collaborating to make a difference in the world. Not comparing themselves to each other, downplaying each others successes or even sabotaging each other through their thoughts and behaviours.
As I have matured and evolved as a person I have realised how important it is to have a network around you. We aren’t all superwomen (well not all the time), we need support from others in areas we may struggle or if we are having a dark day.
So take some time to reflect on your current relationships. I challenge you to admit to yourself whether they are healthy or toxic, are the people (not just women) the right people to be surrounding yourself with. Are they allowing you to be the person you are here to be; have you found your cheerleaders? If the answer is no, get out there and find them!
Network, join a club, meet new people who want to see you grow in confidence and succeed in life, not to fail at the first hurdle.
History is filled with women who have overcome huge obstacles, challenged the status quo and have left their mark on the world. This too can be you, but don’t let others hinder you, GET OUT THERE AND DO YOU!
And for those who are fortunate enough to have found their tribe say thank you, show them your love and how much they mean to you.
For the wonderful ladies in my life – thank you, thank you, thank you! You give me so much and expect so little, you inspire me in so many different ways and I am forever grateful to be called your friend! I only hope I am as good a support for you as you are for me.
Charlotte Murphy is a certified business and life coach and founder of Your Story Coaching.